What I love most – Rashal Dàvid
“What I love most about writing is the travel. I love taking readers on the journey. The journey can be from confusion on a subject to knowledge of said subject. The journey can be from sadness to happiness or laughter. Or it can be from loneliness to love. It doesn’t matter where my reader is. I just want to take them on a trip. And it’s always fun to journey with them. Who wouldn’t want to do that?”
– Rashal Dàvid
A not-so-fun journey – Rashal Dàvid
I’m a creative person. I love to write and design keepsakes and gifts for others. I’m also an analytical person who, on occasion, has to prevent myself from having analysis paralysis. You would think the creative side would afford me a bit of a, ummm, nurturing spirit. Unfortunately, it seems the perfectionist, analytical side controls my spirit a bit. This leads me to the pickle I’m in now.
I’ve been a caregiver for years now but I still don’t have nurturing part right. Compassion is not exactly my strong suit. That said, I do care about people. My mother always said when I was younger I would start crying if I saw someone living on the street with no coat during cold weather. So, I know the nurturing spirit has got to be down there somewhere. I just don’t know how to access it.
The thing is (and this may sound a bit hardboiled eggish), I’m not accustomed to having the luxury of caregiving, helping loved ones through an illness and to their restored health. I hate saying it that way, I do. It makes it sound like illness is a joy. It’s not. It’s not a joy for the patient. It’s also not a joy for the caregiver. The patient is tired and sometimes in pain. They just want to feel normal again. The caregiver is tired, drained, and want life to be normal again.
When I was growing up, my loved ones did not suffer illnesses and have the benefit of recovery. I’ve lost loved ones suddenly. It was like, “Boom. They’re gone.” There was no going to help my grandparent do this, or my aunt do that. There was no visiting them in the hospital or seeing them sick in bed save one exception – my grandfather. And I didn’t find out until after he passed that the trips he did make to the hospital were the result of cancer. Heart disease took my other loved ones.
I, for one, am a fixer. Unfortunately, I can’t fix things for my patient. But, I’m HOPING I can fix me, my attitude, and my understanding so I can become a more compassionate caregiver. My husband is one of the most caring people I know. He is a STRONG man with a good heart. He’s been through a lot – diabetes, kidney and pancreas transplant, gall bladder removal, another kidney transplant, COVID and what I believe to be “oversight” and “negligence” during his battle with COVID that came close to taking him out. And he’s still here! See, what I’m saying? He is STRONG.
Yet, here we are, back in caregiving mode. This isn’t exactly the journey I thought I’d be taking you all on when I first created this website. But, it’s the journey we will be taking. Maybe this time around I’ll get the hang of this compassion thing. I think I’ll try to throw a little self-care in there this time. I haven’t done much of that in the past. I suppose the lack of self-care may have a little to do with how impactful I am as a caregiver.
We are fortunate. We’re not dealing with the “C” word, and we have faith and believe in provision. My goal is to hang in there and expect provision sooner rather than later. In the meantime, I’ll give you updates on my experiences, thoughts and lessons I’m learning along the way. I also plan to provide information on resources and contacts caregivers and patients can access. Us caregivers gotta stick together!
I’ll throw in a bit of a disclaimer here. I did say above I’m a creative and a writer. There may be the occasional non-caregiver-related post because the writer in me just had something to say. I hope you’ll stick with me. You may join us as we start this current journey by clicking here.